why i want a wife

1) i think the thesis to this essay is "I want a wife because she'll do eveything for me" more or less.
2)Repeating "i want a wife" in the essay brings attention to the fact that the wife does everything for the spouse.
3) I think she wrote the essay to make fun of the standards that spouses want their wife to have, and not actually have one whos like that.
4) I think the's picturing the wife that an ideal stay at home mom should be, plus getting a job to pay for things when the spouse isn't there.she's making fun of what someone would expect from a wife at different times of lives and for what reasons.
5) I think this is a good essay to show how much the spouse expects from a wife and the presure i guess you could say is put on them and the responsabilities put upon them. i think it paints a good image in the heads of readers.

After reading these, choose your two favorite stories from these.  Why were they your favorites? What suprised you in them? what was Thurber making fun of? Did he use another fable or fairytale as his basis?

The Little Girl and the Wolf

I thought this story was funny because the girl failed to see the fact that her grandmother had been eaten but instead shot the wolf for trying to trick her. Thurber was making fun of the goody-goody-two-shoes we all thought little red riding hood was and having her pull a gun on the wolf. He used the fairy tail of little red riding hood.

The Unicorn in the Garden

This story kinda confused me. I didn't quite understand it but it was pretty interesting. The whole story surprised me, the ending especially. I honestly don't really know what fable or fairy tail this was pulled from either. but it was a fun little stry to read.

The Stag at the Pool  
A Stag starts talking bout how his feet suck and how is antlers are so big and awesome and a lion comes so the stag runs into the woods but gets his big antlers stuck in the tree and his feet aren't able to get him out.

Moral of Aesops Fable: What is most truly valuable is often underrated.

The Fox and the Cat

A cat and a fox talk about how they can escape enemies and the fox had 100 and the cat only had one. some dogs come to kill them and the cat ran up a tree but the fox tried to think of which of the 100 ways he would use to escape and died.

Better one safe way than a hundred on which you cannot reckon

The Two Pots 

Two pots float down a river and talk to eachother. they said they won't try to hit eachother but if they do the weak pot will die no matter which one hits the other.

The strong and the weak cannot keep company

The Horse and the Stag 

A horse was chillin in a field and a stag came up but the horse didn't wasnt the stag there so he went to a man and asked him for help and the man said "he but you have to carry me places and i'll kill the stag" so the horse went along with it then realized he was enslaved forever.

He who seeks to injure others often injures only himself.

The Two Frogs

So two frogs were chillin in a pool but it dried up from the heat and so they left to find another and they found a really deep pool big enough for them both and one frog was like "looks pretty good" but the other was like, "bro, what if it dries up? we'd be stuck there forever."

Do nothing without a regard to the consequences.

The Dogs and the Hides

 

 

Some Dogs, famished with hunger, saw some cow-hides steeping in a river. Not being able to reach them, they agreed to drink up the river; but it fell out that they burst themselves with drinking long before they reached the hides. Attempt not impossibilities.   The Fisherman and the Little Fish  This fisherman fished a small fish and it asked him to spare his life and that someday he'd become a bigger fish and he could catch him again but the fisherman said "nah, imma cut ya up now. cause ya prolly won't get caught no mo'." Do not forego a certain gain for an uncertain profit The Fox and the Lion  So a fox was walking and came across a lion and ran away. the next time he just hid. the third time the just passed eachother without a problem. Familiarity breeds contempt The Eagle and the Arrow  And eagle was chillin in the air and was shot by an arrow that had been made witht he feathers of another eagle. We often give our enemies the means for our own destruction

Fairy tail poem

The net came dow, violently onto the lions head with heavy weights on either end, he couldn't move. The mouse jumped down upon his head with joy knowing he had trapped the beast that has been terrorizing his little mouse town.

her hands on my back, slowing petting me, putting me to sleep. But i couldn't sleep. I had to stay awake to protect her! these are dangerous forests, she can't be left alone to fend for herself.

I was slowly drifting away from what was left of my boat. up in flames, what had happened?

Where did this grass hopper get i tiny fiddle? And a tiny bandana? it suits him well but it would take increadible skill to make either item. For a human to make it it would be near impossible it create a fully funtioning fiddle in a size suitable for a grasshopper, and for a grass hopper to make it without thumbs is just nonsence.

Every morning she lifts me out of my nest and puts me in a comfy little basket she carries upon her back. she coolects the eggs i had layed and puts them in the little basket next to me. not fully awake yet i just doze off to the sound of her bear feet slapping th eground.

**The witch appears every morning out of the mist, near the old ruins that have long been covered by moss. she runs through the fog in her bright red hooded gown to no-knows-where.

Why I'm hanging out with the crazy girl and OCD rabbit is beyond me. I just want to have a nice meal with tea but this chick, i swear, puts LSD in the food and we all go on these unbeleivable trips. Maybe the rabit isn't even here? He might just be part of my trip..

Today has been a tremendous day for our village. what started off as a panic has now died down into something more along the lines of facination. A giant has appeard in the feilds right outside the market place! he seems pretty harmless and just as confused, if not more, that us!

I have not had a good nights sleep in forever! every matress i get is just as terrible as the first. I try it out for a couple nights until i have to get a new one. I'm too lazy to get rid of the old ones myself so i just pile them on top of one another. eventually it got too high fo rme to simply walk onto so i had to get a latter to hop into bed.

I woke up today in the forest, without any recolection on how i had gotten here. it was beautiful tho.

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Every morning she appears just before the sun,
Out of nowhere you'll hear the pitter patter of her feet as she begins to run.
I see her every morning by the old ruins I stay,
I'm as quiet as a church mouse when she passes, for in fear I lay.
I'm cursed by this witch, I'm not allowed to leave,
I shouldn't have done her wrong, but her words I didn't believe,
She said "while you're with me, you better not take another to bed,
and so help your soul, if you do, your lifes as good as dead."
So here I am,
a cheating man,
who knows of nothing and nothing knows of me,
I should have listened for I may still be free.  

I believe

I believe that animals should be treated with respect. Which is a shock when I tell most people since I wouldn't really consider myself to be the 'animal rights activist' type. I'm a Republican, I have intentions on joining the Army, I'm an athlete, and a motorcyclist; however I'm also a vegetarian. Not what you'd expect, right? I have a few friends who are also vegetarians, and before I made the switch to cut meat out of my diet I would usually make fun of them, in a joking fashion, nothing too serious. They all thought it was funny when I decided I'd become a vegetarian but welcomed it with open arms. Unlike my family who protested my choice at first, but they eventually gave in and are now supporting.

The thing that really opened my eyes to the issues concerning animal rights was actually a class at my high school. We had speakers come in from all different groups on both sides of the political spectrum come give their opinions about the world we live in. One specific speaker, Sarah, from Mercy for Animals (MFA) came in to talk to us about how farmed animals were mistreated on a daily basis. Looking and the schedule of speakers and seeing ‘Mercy for Animals’ made me laugh. I thought she’d just be another tree hugging crazy left wing liberal chick that would be nothing but someone to laugh at, but after the two days she came in to speak I was blown away by just about everything she said. From the treatment of these animals to how going vegetarian could help improve your health and the environment, every word she spoke hit home to just about everyone in the class, but only stuck with some. Including me.

These animals, from the time they’re born, are kept in cages hardly big enough for them to move.  Cows get there tails and testicles ripped from their bodies without any pain killers, as well as pigs. Dairy cows are given hormone pills to increase birth rate so they keep producing milk and their babies are taken away from them instantly. Cows aren’t just objects, they’re loving creatures that care for their young, and continuously having to give them up to get caged and murdered for meat. Pigs are very intelligent animals, scientists say as smart as a three year old baby human, are left to live in cages so small they can’t even turn around. Without anything to stimulate their brain they literally go insane and would chew each others tails off, that’s why works cut their tails off at birth. Male chickens are thrown into big trash bag and suffocated to death right from hatching since they can’t produce eggs. Female chicks are taken to have their beaks cut off so they don’t peck one another too death because they live so close together. After the painful procedure of break trimming they are shoved into cages and lay 10 times as many eggs as their nature body should because of hormones given to them.  On top of all this, animals are often abused and beaten by works, and killed violently, in some cases get shot in the head with a bolt gun, or hanged.  99% of all animal abuse charges are due to the meat industry. That isn’t too surprising considering that 20,000,000,000 animals each year are killed in providing meat for the just America. World wide that number increases to 58,000,000,000. These horrific numbers aren’t necessary at all especially since humans can more that easily sustain a healthier lifestyle by giving up meat and dairy for that matter. Humans are the only species on this planet who consume milk from another species besides its own. Hearing the facts and researching it for myself really gave me the inspiration to drop my carnivorous  lifestyle and move on to one that’s better for my body, the planet, and billions of animals. I would only hope more people look into doing the same.

Us meeting just over three months ago,
Somewhere where we could hold eachothers hand,
With the clowns, and screams, and the stobe lights glow,
First time together we just ran and ran,
But really I didn't mind much at all,
With you by my side I had to act brave,
I couldn't be scared I had to stand tall,
You getting out alive was a close shave,
I could tell because my hand felt broken,
Getting out of the maze was kinda sad,
releasing your hand, feelings unspoken,
Kissed four days later I felt pretty glad,
Couldn't imagine three months without you,
I love just about everything you do.

Essay Responce (This I Believe)

Essay 1) Recovering the Hope of Children

     This essay is a story about a man who was deployed with the U.S. Air Force to Iraq. There he say what he thought to be hell. Everyone there lived in fear, or terror from the war that's torn through their country for years. He was driving one day and passed an old man with a small child. THe old man held the child close as they pass. He stuck his arm outside the car and held out a teddy bear for the young boy.he grabbed it and gave it a big hug and the old man had a hopeful look on his face.
     Reading this story it reminded me of some of my dads stories from when he was a soldier. When he was in Kosovo he went to the local market and there he saw a little girl with her grandmother. The girl was playing with a small glass elephant and she asked her grandmother to by it but she refused. she put the glass elephant back on the shelf and walked away with a long face. my dad saw this and walked bought the same glass elephant. he walked on over to the little girl and gave it to her. at first the grandmother wouldn't except it but eventually she let her grandchild have it lovingly.
    This types of stories make me smile. I love hearing stories of war that don't involve guns or killing, but those that show they brighter side of humanity.

2)Untold Stories of Kindness

     This second essay I read was somewhat like this first but it told the story of war with guns and blood and death. But it also told of a glimmer of hope that mankind can be united. even though it was through a fire fight, when insurgents bombed civilians and remaining civilians teamed up with American soldiers, it proved that even countries at war with one another can come together. He was hopeful that maybe someday we can all forget about boundries of race, religion, or nationalaties and become more accepting.

3) To Question And Defend Our Country

    

Minding my own business, riding down the highway, another motorcyclist pulls up next to me on my left. He glares over at me with a faceless presence from his all blackened helmet. Thinking he was just another guy i brought my left hand down to wave, I gave him dueces. Just then the brawny man leans hard to the right trying to ram into me like an artilery round, but i pulled in the clutch and break in order to stop quickly. I slowed down quite a bit, enough for him to pass in front of me without harm. Suddenly another biker comes up from behind and slashes my right leg with a knife, breaking my tibia. my chest tightened up, I wanted to yell from the excrutiating pain but i couldn't. more and more motorcyclist kept coming from behind me, encircling me, like a group of assassins. I then remembered my firearm i had strapped to my ankle, i reached down to take it out, rifling through the blood and torn flesh from my calf i pulled out my .45 and started firing.BAM BAM BAM! I unleashed a volley of bullets, a violent ballad from the point of my gun.

I walk around, very sneakily, through my room in the basement to the laundry room to escape out the small window.  While tip-toeing like some sort of ninja, I step on something soft, squishy, and warm. I look down, and a white ball of fur runs in terror under the wall. My heart stops for a brief second. Now I wouldn't normally be afraid of a mouse but since it was 3am, I couldn't help but to be a bit jumpy. When i regained my composure I slid through the cracked door, trying not to move it to prevent it from sqeaking, it in need of some wd40. When I got in the laundry room i made my way to the window. I had already planned out a narrow path way in which i could navigate through the mountains of dirty cloths and boxes of old items we had long forgotten about. When I got to the window I unhinged the frame and laid it gently next to the sump pump, trying to make as little noise as possible. After everything was in place and calmed down I stood there, in the dark, waiting for a text from my friend that would let me know when I could leave.  My phone buzzed like an angry bee and i exuberantly left the confines of my house and dashed into my friends car.  I felt as free as an eagle as we drove off through the jungle. I frantically told my friend what i just experienced as we sped out of the neighborhood. I was still a little jumpy from what just happened, although i tried not to think about it for the remaining of the night.
I could barely keep my mind straight knowing where we were on route to, California. I laid my head back and closed my eyes, dreaming of the golden sand that would soon surround us. "I can't wait to get there!" Katie exclaimed as we crossed out of the Worthington City limits. It was all fun and games for a while, we laughed and joked back and fourth. Then, we heard a truck horn blare. Katie turned around and tried to brake, but it was too late. The pineapples in her car shattered through the windows like a polar bear breaking through thin ice. The truck driver rushed out of his truck with only half of his face attached to his body. Spitting blood out of his mouth as he was speaking in an accent, sounding like he just arrived from Spain. He was wearing a torn up Dallas Cowboys jersey, trying to show his American culture most likey, unfortunatley his American driving skills were lacking.